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Hey, so according to that little picture thing on the Google logo, today is Jacques Cousteau's 100th birthday. Happy birthday, dead Jacques Cousteau! No recipe, I just like Jacques Cousteau.

The Pains of Being Pureed at Heart

The Pains of Being Pure at Heart are one of my favourite new-ish bands. Their sweet pop anthems will transport you back to the lovely ‘90s sounds of Velocity Girl and Rocketship and early Teenage Fanclub. Garlic pea puree is a tasty compliment to white meats. Enjoy!

Preparation time: 3 seconds
Cooking time: 5 minutes

Ingredients:
- 230g (1 1/2 cups) frozen peas
- 1 garlic clove, crushed!
- 1 tbs water

Method:
1. Add the peas, garlic and water to a frying pan.
2. Cook, covered, over medium-low heat for 3-4 minutes or until the peas are bright green and tender like a radioactive kitten.
3. Transfer the pea mixture to the bowl of a food processor. PUREE IT! Season with salt and pepper.
4. Serve alongside a succulent chicken breast or a pork loin chop.
5. Eat it while listening to the brilliant guitar solo halfway through The Pains of Being Pure at Heart’s best song, “Everything With You”. Pour yourself a nice glass of Zinfandel (or Dr. Pepper).

Source: Good Taste (February 2002, page 46); recipe by Kerrie Mullins

The Birthday Party Cake

Words by: Hon

The Birthday Party were an Australian band who were around during the early eighties I think. My older cousin used to like them and to scare me he’d often trick me into listening to them and sometimes he would also make me watch the little dancing guy on Twin Peaks.

Prep time: 30 mins
Cooking time: 50 mins

Ingredients:
- 1 1/3 cups (200g) macadamia nuts
- 40g self-raising flour
- 6 eggs, separated
- 3/4 cup caster sugar
- 1/2 cup desiccated coconut
- Grated zest of 1 lime

Method:
1. Heat up the oven to 170C
2. Blend up the nuts, flour and a pinch of salt.
3. Beat the egg yolks and sugar until it makes a pale paste.
4. Mix the blended nuts with the sugary yolks. Then add the coconut and lime.
5. In a different bowl beat the egg whites until it looks like shaving cream.
6. Fold in half the egg whites with the macadamia mixture.
7. Repeat with remaining egg whites.
8. Pour this stuff in a lightly greased baking tray and bake for 40mins.
9. Listen to "The Friend Catcher" by The Birthday Party and pretend you are a donkey while eating your delicious cake!

Source: Delicious, Issue 09, Feb 2010

Black on Both Sides Toast

Words by: Hon

Mos Def is my favourite rapper and Black on Both Sides is my favourite Mos Def album. That must make it my favourite rap album I guess. Toast is hot bread.

Prep time: 30 seconds
Cooking time: 3 mins

Ingredients:
- 1 slice of bread

Method:
1. Put the slice of bread in a toaster and crank the setting.
2. Toast until a lot of smoke is coming out of the toaster. Be careful it’s not near your smoke alarm!
3. Take out the burnt toast. Ensure that it’s black on both sides!
4. Consume while listening to Mos Def's "Know That" (featuring Talib Kweli).

Source: me

Exploding Artichoke Hearts

The Exploding Hearts were a great power-pop band who recorded the magnificent album Guitar Romantic in 2003, and then all died in a tour van accident the following year (bummer). Artichoke hearts are healthy and delicious. Enjoy!

Ingredients:
- Artichokes! (As many as you want)
- A couple cloves of garlic (chopped)
- Parsley (chop it!)
- Olive oil (a few tablespoons)
- White wine vinegar (a teaspoon or two)

Method:
1. Clean your artichokes.
2. Boil them for about 30-40 mins. Take them out of the water and put them on a plate.
3. Combine the garlic, parsley, olive oil and vinegar in a bowl. Pour it on top of your artichokes.
4. Eat your artichokes starting with the outer leaves. Scrape the good bits with your teeth; don’t swallow the hard leaves, moron. Continue until you get to the hearts. EAT THE HEARTS!
5. Listen to The Exploding Hearts’ “Thorns In Roses” while you eat. Drink a dry sherry, like a Manzanilla, and pretend you’re Spanish.

Source: Common sense.

Eddy Current Onion Rings

Eddy Current Suppression Ring is a great Aussie punk band. Onion rings are tasty. Enjoy!

Prep Time: 15 minutes
Cooking Time: 15 minutes

Ingredients (serves 4):
- 190g (1 1/4 cups) plain flour
- 1/2 tsp baking powder
- Pinch of salt
- 375ml bottle of cold lager beer
- Vegetable oil, to deep-fry
- 4 medium white onions, cut into rings, rings separated (try not to cry)

Method:
1. Combine the flour, baking powder and salt in a large bowl and make a well in the centre. Whisk in the beer until the mixture is smooth. Also, drink some beer.
2. Add enough oil to a large wok or saucepan to reach a depth of 10cm. Set your burner to high heat and wait (test: a cube of bread will turn golden brown in 10 seconds when the oil is ready). Dip one-third of the onion rings, one at a time, into the beer batter to evenly coat, then place straight into the hot oil. Deep-fry for 2-3 minutes or until crisp and golden. Transfer to a tray lined with paper towel. Repeat with the remaining onion rings and batter, reheating the oil between batches.
3. Put the onion rings on a plate and season with sea salt flakes.
4. Listen to Eddy Current Suppression Ring’s “Which Way To Go” while you eat them. And drink beer.

Source: Good Taste (June 2004, page 24); recipe by Amanda Kelly

Carbonara Not Glue

Carbonara is a great pasta dish. "Carbona Not Glue" is a great Ramones song. Enjoy!

Prep time: 15 mins
Cooking Time: 15 mins

Ingredients:
- 6 rashers bacon (sliced into 1.5cm wide strips)
- a shitload (like 10) button mushrooms (thickly sliced)
- 2 eggs (beaten)
- 150ml cream
- fettucine pasta
- parmesan or pecorino cheese (grated)
- salt + pepper

Method:
1. Fill a pot with water and salt it. Bring water to the boil and add pasta.
2. Fry the bacon and mushrooms in a pan over high heat. But fry them separately, dumbnuts. Put the fried bacon on some paper towels for a while.
3. In a separate bowl, stir together the beaten eggs, cream, grated cheese and salt/pepper. Add the fried bacon to this bowl.
4. When the pasta’s al dente, remove it from the pot. Quickly pour out the water from the pot and then put the cooked pasta back into it. Pour your mushrooms and creamy/eggy/bacony goo on top of the pasta. Stir it around and give the whole thing a minute to caress the pot’s residual heat.
5. Put it on a plate and grate some more parmesan on top, you tightwad.
6. Listen to the Ramones’ “Carbona Not Glue” while you eat it. And drink some beer for Dee Dee.

Source: My brain.