Exploding Artichoke Hearts

The Exploding Hearts were a great power-pop band who recorded the magnificent album Guitar Romantic in 2003, and then all died in a tour van accident the following year (bummer). Artichoke hearts are healthy and delicious. Enjoy!

Ingredients:
- Artichokes! (As many as you want)
- A couple cloves of garlic (chopped)
- Parsley (chop it!)
- Olive oil (a few tablespoons)
- White wine vinegar (a teaspoon or two)

Method:
1. Clean your artichokes.
2. Boil them for about 30-40 mins. Take them out of the water and put them on a plate.
3. Combine the garlic, parsley, olive oil and vinegar in a bowl. Pour it on top of your artichokes.
4. Eat your artichokes starting with the outer leaves. Scrape the good bits with your teeth; don’t swallow the hard leaves, moron. Continue until you get to the hearts. EAT THE HEARTS!
5. Listen to The Exploding Hearts’ “Thorns In Roses” while you eat. Drink a dry sherry, like a Manzanilla, and pretend you’re Spanish.

Source: Common sense.

Eddy Current Onion Rings

Eddy Current Suppression Ring is a great Aussie punk band. Onion rings are tasty. Enjoy!

Prep Time: 15 minutes
Cooking Time: 15 minutes

Ingredients (serves 4):
- 190g (1 1/4 cups) plain flour
- 1/2 tsp baking powder
- Pinch of salt
- 375ml bottle of cold lager beer
- Vegetable oil, to deep-fry
- 4 medium white onions, cut into rings, rings separated (try not to cry)

Method:
1. Combine the flour, baking powder and salt in a large bowl and make a well in the centre. Whisk in the beer until the mixture is smooth. Also, drink some beer.
2. Add enough oil to a large wok or saucepan to reach a depth of 10cm. Set your burner to high heat and wait (test: a cube of bread will turn golden brown in 10 seconds when the oil is ready). Dip one-third of the onion rings, one at a time, into the beer batter to evenly coat, then place straight into the hot oil. Deep-fry for 2-3 minutes or until crisp and golden. Transfer to a tray lined with paper towel. Repeat with the remaining onion rings and batter, reheating the oil between batches.
3. Put the onion rings on a plate and season with sea salt flakes.
4. Listen to Eddy Current Suppression Ring’s “Which Way To Go” while you eat them. And drink beer.

Source: Good Taste (June 2004, page 24); recipe by Amanda Kelly

Carbonara Not Glue

Carbonara is a great pasta dish. "Carbona Not Glue" is a great Ramones song. Enjoy!

Prep time: 15 mins
Cooking Time: 15 mins

Ingredients:
- 6 rashers bacon (sliced into 1.5cm wide strips)
- a shitload (like 10) button mushrooms (thickly sliced)
- 2 eggs (beaten)
- 150ml cream
- fettucine pasta
- parmesan or pecorino cheese (grated)
- salt + pepper

Method:
1. Fill a pot with water and salt it. Bring water to the boil and add pasta.
2. Fry the bacon and mushrooms in a pan over high heat. But fry them separately, dumbnuts. Put the fried bacon on some paper towels for a while.
3. In a separate bowl, stir together the beaten eggs, cream, grated cheese and salt/pepper. Add the fried bacon to this bowl.
4. When the pasta’s al dente, remove it from the pot. Quickly pour out the water from the pot and then put the cooked pasta back into it. Pour your mushrooms and creamy/eggy/bacony goo on top of the pasta. Stir it around and give the whole thing a minute to caress the pot’s residual heat.
5. Put it on a plate and grate some more parmesan on top, you tightwad.
6. Listen to the Ramones’ “Carbona Not Glue” while you eat it. And drink some beer for Dee Dee.

Source: My brain.